I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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