Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
