Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My cat gives me a boner
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The best revenge is premature balding
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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