Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
