I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
