She said her name was "party"
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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