So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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