did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
