That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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