There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
