I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
