We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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