I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
