i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
