I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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