Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I am naked and annoyed.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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