No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
