Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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