i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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