just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
