you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
