She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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