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i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
