wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
