I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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