we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
