If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
