is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
