I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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