Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
