i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
