its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
