He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
