those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
