Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
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