I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
