1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
