After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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