I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
