We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
