i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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