You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Even my vagina gasped.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
