Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
