conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
