How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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