Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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