Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
