dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
