Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
