you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize