I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
